Words of the Day

Word of the Day - 'Poultrification' - meaning: the look of a forgetful chicken staring disconsolately back to the other side of the road

Word of the Day - 'Basilistis' - meaning: the disquieting suspicion that the herbs in your garden are mimicking your voice

Word of the Day - 'Picklemongering' - meaning: To create small models of famous battles & battlefields from chutney

Word of the Day - 'Shaveletting' - meaning: the irrational fear that all the pencil sharpeners you've ever lost are plotting against you

Word of the Day - 'Corviglum' - meaning: To creep up to single magpies and tell them how sad you are feeling

Word of the Day - 'Ipsumobruent' - meaning: The belief that every bottle has a genie inside but nearly all have now drowned

Word of the Day - 'Olecraneist' - meaning: the feeling you have when you suspect one of your elbows is planning a bank heist 

Aponatime

The Aponatime is a most curious animal

It is a time shifter, a mover of the mind

Once mentioned life begins to twist

You can return to childhood

Familiar voices echo in your head

Stories begin, fables unfold

And it only has to be spoken once

Just once 

Once Aponatime

See, I told you

Accident

She was an accident 
An accidental conception 
An accidental admission 
A severed relationship 
A dropped bottle
Don't cry
Distracted in memories
A glance to phone
An accidental twitch to the wheel
An accidental lapse
She was an accident

Penny the Penguin

A long time ago something rather wonderful happened…..

From the moment she hatched it was clear there was something different about Penny.

When all the other baby penguins ‘honked’, ‘gaaked’ and ‘gawed’ at their parents Penny could only let out a tiny, tiny, really tiny …….. ‘squeeeek!’

At first the other penguins didn’t really notice but as she began to grow it became clear that Penny was different because all she could say was a tiny, tiny, really tiny …….. ‘squeeeek!’

None of the other penguins could understand what she was saying and it wasn’t long before some began to make fun of her. When she waddled by they would all let out her tiny, tiny, tiny, really tiny …….. ‘squeeeek!’. Penny began to feel very sad.

Penny’s mummy and daddy didn’t like to see her being teased and did their best to protect her but they could see how unhappy she was.

And Penny really was unhappy as she wondered why she was so different. Soon she didn’t want be with all the other penguins.

Penny would wander off to find a place to hide and there try her very best to ‘honk, ‘gaak’ or ‘gaw’. But it didn’t matter how hard she tried all she could say was a tiny, tiny, really tiny …….. ‘squeeeek!’ Penny would sit on the ice and cry, her tears freezing as they fell to ground.

Her mother and father talked with the elders of the colony but not one could think of what to do. Penny just got sadder and sadder.

One day when Penny was sitting alone she could hear all the young penguins getting more and more excited and even though she didn’t really want to be teased again Penny went over to where they were.

As she got nearer she could hear the young penguins shouting to the sky about all the presents they wanted for Christmas. Penny wanted to join in and shout what she really, really wanted but all she could say was a tiny, tiny, really tiny …….. ‘squeeeek!’

‘How will Father Christmas know what I want,’ thought Penny. Penny’s Mummy and Daddy looked at their little girl and wished with all their hearts that she could speak.

That night …. (so do I continue?)

Ways And Means – Early Paths And Trails (E B Thorne)

It can be argued not unreasonably that the first thing ‘man’ made was the path. That the natural desire, indeed imperative, to move from one place to another for water, food, shelter created these paths through the flora. Our initial ‘homes’ where existing structures but the routes we dissected through the land may have been of our making.

Perhaps early homo sapiens followed those created by other animals or perhaps here was an early example of ‘man’ beginning to scar the surface of the planet by striking out alone.

Once paths or ways existed the next emerging issue to how remember which led to where, the path led to safety at the end of the day and the path to the hunting grounds. It was this challenge that led to placement of signs, markers of memory.

The findings of D.M.Jeffries in his text ‘Navigation of Early Man’[1] point to some of the marked stones from the Etterridge Dig in Cornwall as being ‘wayfinders’ and not as previously postulated ‘religious offerings’. He further proposes that many of these ‘wayfinders’ were replaced over time by initially timber posts and subsequently stone ‘totems’ many of which became sites for funeral path Celtic crosses.

Whilst it is easy to dismiss Jeffries as someone looking for proof of his own theory it is possible that the recent work of Barstairs and Clemence[2] in America using thermal imaging, deep penetration radar and Google earth may have identified some of our most ancient paths and trails. Of more importance are the sites of crossings where the presence of ‘marker shadows’ exist.

2017/18 will see the excavation of three of these key sites. These appear to be amongst the most worn and therefore potentially the most travelled. Barstairs and Clemence hope that these sites may prove migration was much earlier than previously thought and was a managed process through route and wayfinding.

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[1] Navigation of Early Man published in 1960 and republished in 1982 in abridged form with amendments. Still regarded as a prime source for ancient trails and pathways

[2] Barstairs and Clemence funded by the BSAA. For other papers in the series please check the University of Southern Settle

Over Ordered

It was a mistake anyone could have made or at least that was what he kept saying to himself as the driver used the fork life truck to take down yet another pallet of the boxes.

He had checked back to his order and now he knew that it wasn’t single items he had ordered, they were ordered and delivered in multiples. He had one hundred pallets of them when he had only wanted one box with one hundred jars. He was desperately trying to calculate how much space the pallets of Tality were going to take up in his garage. It was already almost full and less than half had been taken off the lorry.

He had to do something before his wife got back. This was supposed to be just a little sideline, a little online business to keep him interested. He had read about the amazing benefits of taking just two tablets of Tality every day and had tried a sample and it seemed to work. So on the strength of that he had ordered small initial order just to see how sales might go. Now he realised he’d missed the vital part that showed the volume of the order.

Standing at the back of his garage he was trying to ring the supplier in China but was still getting no response. He had to ask them to take some of the order back and now. To add to his growing frustration and tension he could hear the ‘beep beep beep’ of the fork lift truck reversing with yet another enormous pallet to force into the garage.

He was trying the supplier for the tenth time when he heard the crates being pushed up. He could hear the straining of both the wood and the metal bindings around the cling filmed boxes. Then he realised that the new pallet was forcing the pallets already in the garage towards him trapping him against the back wall and away from the door.

He shouted, shouted at the top of his voice but remembered the driver had earphones in listening to music. It was one of the things that had annoyed him when he was trying to stop him unloading when he first arrived.

Another pallet and he was being crushed. It was then he heard a voice at the end of the phone. In broken English he could hear the same phrase being repeated ‘Hello, hello, you there, you want moreTality

Just Inside Your Head

There’s something in the garden Mum!

There’s something in the shed

It’s come into the hallway now

It’s crawled beneath my bed.

‘There’s nothing there to worry you,

Your safe inside your bed

You needn’t have a worry

It’s just inside your head.’

‘Just inside my head’ she said,

Just inside my head!

I do not need to worry

‘Cos it’s just inside my head.

And that is where they live now

That is where they fled

The dark thoughts and the shadows

They live inside my head

My fears and my self loathing

I keep them fully fed

For that is where they live for now

At least until I'm dead.