Thursday 20 December 2012

In My Life - I've Loved Them All


It was such a vivid and horrible dream of helplessly sinking deeper into water as the light at the surface dances and ripples away with the waves. The terrible tightening of the chest realising that the desperate flailing of arms and legs cannot fight the undercurrent. Finally, resignation as the darkness ascends and the water begins to fill both mouth and nose

Then suddenly back in bed. Safe, cosy and surrounded by the warming dappled sun through the curtained window. Gulping at the air before realising it was safe here in the pillowed bed. The door opens gently and a mother’s loving face peers round. Worried by the noise she had heard she is immediately reassured by the smile she sees. He smiles back.

Such perfect love, such a warming smile, the nightmare has almost faded away.

A breakfast is carried in followed by father with presents. As perfect a start to a birthday as there could possibly be. If only that dream was not still in the mind.

Sitting up and laughing, reaching out arms to cuddle them both. Softly and slowly the arms come together but there is nothing to hold. The darkness that follows behind them obscures the moment and then the scene.

Some time later the body is hauled onto the boat. “Fifth we’ve found,” says the boatman, “Don’t suppose there’s any survived in this water.”

As the body is rolled over not one person comments on his smile.


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