Day 292. I thread the leading edge of the film
through the last of the projector rollers and connect the end to the spare
spool wiping off the dust at the same time. The end of the film has writing on
it in a chinograph pencil. It says ‘The Holiday’. I step back and look at the
path the film is running. The first part mirrors the other projector the last
section is my guesswork. I reach forward and turn on the motor. There is a
pause and then the film begins to run through the machine and onto the spool.
It turn it off and let out a sigh of relief. Now to see if the bulb works
Day 293. I flick the switch that is in the same
position on this projector as lit the bulb on the other. Once again there is
ghastly pause that feels never ending until a feint light begins to illuminate
the filament of the bulb. I shut the cover and then remember the film must be
moving or the heat from the lamp with ignite it. I flick the switch and the
spools begin to move. Into the darkness of the cinema comes a flickering light
and a sense of times past.
Day 294. The screen if filled with grey frames as
scratches of white dance across them. It is like a giant animated Jackson
Pollack and my heart sores/ The silence is pressing and it makes me think that
their might be sound. I look around the projector but can see nothing. Over on
the wall is a switch that has the image of His Masters Voice. I turn it and a
low hum fills the projection box. Suddenly the screen is filled with wobbly
script writing – ‘The Holiday’
Day 295. The black and white text gives way to the strange soft
colours of 1960's film. Somehow they seem unfocused and bleed into each other.
There is no dialogue just the sound of what I presume is the waves. The opening
shot is of an empty beach. It is quite beautiful with a rocky outcrop to the
far left. Slowly the camera begins to pan across the panorama and the true
beauty of the sea is revealed.
Day 296. The film picks out three people playing on a beach. As
the camera begins to close on them it becomes clear that they are two children
with who I presume to be their mother. They are playing on the edge of the
water and are clearly having a wonderful time. I can hear laughter which gets
louder as the hand held camera get nearer. Suddenly they turn and are shouting
“Daddy, are you filming this?”
Day 297. I find tears rolling down my face. I know these people
but I can’t bring them to my mind. They children are shouting for their Daddy
to join in with their games. Suddenly the film changes its angle. The beach is
now seen from the sea. It is beautiful and deserted but hard to watch as the
camera is unsteady
Day 298. As the camera turn from the sea and shore to the boat I
see the children and their mother laughing again. Suddenly the mother stands up
and walks toward the camera. She is truly beautiful and once again I have the
strange feeling that something is calling at me. She leans forwards and takes
the camera. The next few moments are shots of the deck and other parts of the
boat until she finally turns it onto the previously unseen cameraman.
Day 299. I am rocked backwards. It is as if a dam has burst in
my mind. I cannot cope with the rush of emotions. The man I see on the big
screen gurning at the camera is ……. Me. Crashing against the sides of my head
is the reawakened knowledge that this is my family. That this is my holiday.
What has happened?
Day 300. On the screen I am so happy but in reality I am broken.
I don’t remember being on a boat, I don’t remember any of it but there I am. On
the screen I hear one of the children shouting “Daddy, Daddy look.” The camera
moves round rapidly and there caught in the shot is the prow of a massive ship
bearing down on us. We are truly tiny by comparison. The camera is dropped to
the deck and the film becomes dark as I hear screaming.
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