Exam Nerves and Sugar Soap

‘You can turn over your paper now.’

Seven words that produced an instant wave of nausea through his body. Legs of jelly, stomach of bile and a mouth of Sahara like dryness.

He stared at the paper and knew immediately, he had never practised this. He tried to remember the lessons. He could see the teacher, he could hear his voice but the words were just a porridge. He glanced up to see everyone busy at work.

Why the bloody hell had he not worked harder, this was his fault and he knew it. His eyes caught the star of the class, a bright beautiful girl who he adored. She looked over at him with sympathy in her eyes. Well he had to start with whatever mushy mess he had.

By the end of the test he felt he would have been better off throwing the paper against the wall and walking out.

Five weeks later and term coming to an end and those two hours still played out in his head as a recurring nightmare. Then the word went round the corridors that the result were on the wall.

By the time he got there a crowd of self congratulation was filling the air. Someone thumped him on the back. Surely it couldn’t mean? He forced through to the front. OK it was a ‘D’ but he had passed, he could finally graduate.  He had somehow done it but it can’t have been his preparation.

He looked through the other names and saw hers. He knew she deserved it but seeing the A* made him feel wonderful. He worshipped her and he wanted her to do well. It was really important to her to as her entire family had always excelled and she was expected to. He knew he could have never handled the pressure of such expectations. Anyway it didn’t matter now, it was finally over and he was free to start looking for a job.

He saw her out of the side of his eyes. Everyone was congratulating her but her eyes were searching for him. As she came over he spoke.

“Anna, really well done”

“Phil, er, you’ve graduated.”

He looked into her eyes. Anna Glypta was one very special wall paperer and now top pupil at the Seething Decorators College.

“Don’t suppose I’ll see you again,” he said softly

“Oh Phil, er. I’ll always need you,” she flattened him with her words

He felt as if all his bad memories had been washed away with her sugar soap words.